Silent Storm

Today is a silent storm of pain, everywhere in my body . . . there is no comfortable position, no relief, no rest, no ease. It was already shaping up to be a bad pain day because the weather was changing, and that always triggers the fibromyalgia. With fingers and toes that felt like there were nutcrackers clamped on every joint; sharp shooting pains in random areas; stiff neck; TMJ pain; the usual shoulder, elbow, and wrist pain caused by my job; the constant ache in my spine between my shoulderblades and in my lower back; and the grinding pain in my hips and knees my pain levels were about an 8 . . . and then there was the birthday party.

I couldn’t miss it, S. just had cancer surgery about 6 weeks ago and we don’t know how many more birthdays we’ll get to spend with her; so I loaded up on ibuprofen and tylenol and headed out.

I was uncomfortable, but managing, until we left and my foot slipped on the porch steps. I went down HARD, smacking my right arm on the edge of one step and landing on my left hip. I must have done some major twisting as I went down, too; because now my usual stiff neck feels more like a minor case of whiplash (I’ve had it before, so I know what it feels like.) I’ve got a nice red abrasion on my arm where it hit the step (I expect more pretty colors later,) and the pain levels on my usual aches are climbing by the minute.

I’m above 9 by this point, and seriously wishing I could go to sleep and just not wake up again. Oh, well, unless the pain just gets so bad that my blood pressure goes up to the point something explodes, I guess I’ll just get up and do it all again tomorrow. I bet work is gonna be fun . . .

And on that note, I’m headed to bed with my hot packs. Hopefully between the tramadol, the heat, and the meditation, I’ll be able to go to sleep.

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