By wendy, on July 18th, 2011%
By Wendy Burnett
Have you ever wondered how safe the medications you take really are? Dr. Bremner’s book is a scary expose’ of how far pharmaceutical companies will go to protect their profits and keep you from finding out about the real dangers of the medications they make. His experience as a researcher, psychiatrist and speaker for the pharmaceutical companies has given him an insider’s view of how drugs are marketed; as well as how their dangers are minimized and hidden in the name of sales.
Dr. Bremner shares the story of his research into the acne drug Accutane, an almost miraculous treatment for severe acne. He describes Hoffman – La Roche’s attempts to prevent the study, their adamant denials of any possibility that it could cause suicidal depression in some patients, and their desperate efforts to discredit him and his findings.
I was so fascinated (and horrified) once I started reading that I finished the book in a single day. Continue reading Review: The Goose That Laid the Golden Egg »
By wendy, on September 29th, 2010%
I’ve been seriously slacking lately. Between the router issues (see my previous post,) work stress, and depression; I haven’t been able to write nearly as much as I’d like in the last few weeks, and I’ve gotten really behind.
The new Graceful Agony Blog Carnival, Who Turned Out the Lights?, went live on the Sept. 20th. Not being able to get online much meant it took me over a week to read all the posts, but they were really worth the wait. Continue reading Graceful Agony Blog Carnival – Depression & Chronic Illness »
By wendy, on September 15th, 2010%
According to a recently released research study (Mortality in fibromyalgia: An 8,186 Patient Study Over 35 Years,) having fibromyalgia increases the chance that someone will commit suicide. I don’t understand exactly how much the risk increases, since the study provides an odds ratio rather than relative risk, but the simple fact that suicide is more likely is frightening enough. (The risk of accidental death was also higher in the fibromyalgia patients, which I’m guessing is at least partially related to “fibro fog” issues like forgetting whether you’ve taken your meds and accidentally taking an overdose.)
I totally understand why this is true, since my fibro has frequently triggered suicidal depressions for me, for various reasons. When I was first diagnosed, the total lack of understanding and support from my then-husband, combined with the lack of anyone in my life who DID understand and the terror of facing a life of pain and disability; threw me into a months long depression that only grew deeper as I dealt with the losses that came with the illness. I spent hours every day wishing I could die, and knowing that the fibromyalgia wouldn’t kill me.
There have been many more depressions since then, most related to the fibromyalgia in some way, even when it wasn’t the direct cause. The most recent one started 3 YEARS ago, Continue reading Fibromyalgia Increases Suicide Risk – Chronic Illness, Stress, and Depression Part II »
By wendy, on September 15th, 2010%
Depression has been a huge part of my life for so long that if it was suddenly taken away, I honestly wouldn’t know how to live. Even on the good days, it’s a constant, hovering just beneath the surface, waiting for the tiniest gap to escape through.
Peel an onion, and separate the layers. Take a good look at that delicate, transparent membrane between them; at how thin it is, how easily it’s torn. Something like that membrane is all that separates me from the depression that lives inside me like a monster, waiting its chance to tear through and eat every bit of happiness, every bit of hope, and every bit of energy I have.
Although I’ve been diagnosed as bipolar (accurately, I think;) my depressions tend to be situational depressions, not bipolar depressions. It may sound like semantics, or even denial, but there really is a major difference between the two. Continue reading Chronic Illness, Stress and Depression »
By wendy, on September 10th, 2010%
It’s National Suicide Prevention Week, and today is World Suicide Prevention Day. If you know someone who is suicidal, reach out, help them find help.
If YOU are suicidal, you need to know that you are not alone. There are many of us who have been where you are and come out on the other side. I’ve been there myself, more times than I can count, starting when I was 5 years old; and I’ve learned that if you can hold on, if you can reach out, it ALWAYS gets better.
Life is change, and EVERYTHING changes, even the misery you feel. There are people out there who can help, who WILL help. No matter what you think, your family and friends will NOT be better off without you, and your death will cause more pain and devastation in their lives than you could EVER cause by staying alive.
If you’re considering killing yourself, if you’ve started planning, even if you’re just thinking that things would be easier if you were dead, read this first. This article provides tons of ways to get help, and links to places you can connect with others that feel the way you do. Read the article, check out the links, maybe call one of the hotlines and actually talk to someone who understands what you’re going through.
The Suicide Project is another great place to connect with others who have been where you are, and read the stories of those who have been affected by the suicide of someone they love.
These two sites have saved my life more than once, by helping me find the resources I needed, and they can help you, too. Please, just check them out. It won’t take long, and death will always wait for you as it waits for all of us eventually.
Death Waits
Death waits
patiently
white pills
on white sheets
or blue steel
and red blood
I fear it
and desire it
equally
the choice
release
from pain
or continued suffering
finality
or uncertainty
my pain
or the pain
of others
ambivalent
I cannot
choose
and so
death waits
another day
I wrote this in 2001, and it has been true for me many times, both before and since. I’m sure it will be true for me again, but I’m also sure that when it is, I will find the help I need to get me through, one more time. The help is out there, all you have to do is ask. Please give life one more chance, please ask.
By wendy, on July 29th, 2010%
According to a newly released research study (Mortality in fibromyalgia: An 8,186 Patient Study Over 35 Years ), having fibromyalgia increases the chance that someone will commit suicide. I don’t understand exactly how much the risk increases, since the study provides an odds ratio rather than relative risk, but the simple fact that suicide is more likely is frightening enough. (The risk of accidental death was also higher in the fibromyalgia patients, which I’m guessing is at least partially related to “fibro fog” issues like forgetting whether you’ve taken your meds and accidentally taking an overdose.)
I’d been wondering about this subject, since I’ve been dealing with some serious flare issues lately, and have caught myself thinking, “please just let me die and stop hurting,” quite a bit. Continue reading Fibromyalgia Increases Risk of Suicide »
By wendy, on July 25th, 2010%
We don’t say it often enough, do we? Thank you . . . Two simple words, but it can be so hard to remember to say them. Not for the big stuff, we usually remember when someone gives us something big, but how often do we remember when someone listens to us? How often do we thank our friends for just being there for us; for listening, for understanding, and for giving us the strength to keep going when all we want to do is curl up and die?
I know I don’t tell my friends how much I appreciate them nearly enough, so when I found out that the new PFAM blog carnival topic is “the nicest thing(s) anyone has done for you since you became ill,” I decided it was time for some “thank yous.”
I have a LOT of friends, both real life and online, and they’ve done TONS of nice things for me. I’ve been given computers, and televisions, and a home; I’ve had friends lend me heating pads, and cook dinner on my night to cook, and give me rides to work. . .
My wonderful friends have done more for me than I could ever repay if I had a million years to do it in; but the best thing they’ve ever done is just listened to me when I needed to talk about how bad I felt, how scared I was, and even when I was suicidal. Continue reading The Best Friends in the World »
By wendy, on July 12th, 2010%
 I’ve been very remiss, but it’s time to make up for that . . . A couple of weeks ago, I found a wonderful surprise in my email. Dominique, over at 4Walls and a View, has awarded this blog the “One Lovely Blog Award.” I’m amazed and honored to be chosen, however, fulfilling the requirements has been rather difficult. Between them, Dominique and Jolene (Graceful Agony) had managed to pass this award to many of the blogs I follow, so I had to find 15 more blogs to pass it on to.
In order to receive this amazing honor, you should meet the following requirements:
- Accept the award and post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link. (Check.)
- Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered (if possible). (Check.)
- Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award. (Working on it.)
Finding 15 blogs to pass it on to was NOT easy, but I did it, and here they are: Continue reading Lovely Blog Award? Me? »
By wendy, on June 7th, 2010%
Do you suffer from bipolar disorder or depression? Are you pregnant, or planning to get pregnant?
If so, and you’re taking an SSRI (Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, Zoloft, Sarafem, Lexapro, Luvox) or SNRI (Cymbalta, Effexor, Pristiq) type antidepressant medication, or a combination of two different types of antidepressants, you may want to talk to your doctor about other options during your pregnancy. A new study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal reports that taking these medications during pregnancy increases the chances of spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) by MORE than two-thirds (68%.)
WARNING:
Withdrawal from these medications is extremely dangerous, and should never be attempted without the supervision of a qualified specialist with experience in handling “Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome.” The symptoms of withdrawal can be more severe than the original symptoms, even when doses are only reduced, rather than stopped entirely.
Sources:
Canadian Medical Association Journal, abstract: http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/abstract/cmaj.091208v1
Baker, S.L. (2010). “Antidepressants during pregnancy cause alarming 68 percent increased risk of miscarriage” (retrieved June 7, 2010). http://www.naturalnews.com/028943_antidepressants_miscarriage.html
By wendy, on May 30th, 2010%
Chronic illness is a life-changing experience for everyone, and each person’s journey is very different; but there are experiences we all recognize as well. How many of us have lost jobs, friends, spouses, homes, and family members to our disease? No matter what illness we have, we share so much that we can connect on a level that many will never understand unless the journey comes to them. We share symptoms, and losses, and lessons; and we share the understanding that our lives will never be the same because the illness, the journey, has changed us in ways that can never be undone. Even if we were to wake up tomorrow and be healthy again, even if by some miracle we were cured; the experience has changed us in fundamental ways, and the lessons it has taught us can never be unlearned.
My journey began many years ago, and it has changed my life so much that when I look back I barely recognize the woman I was. I was married, and miserable, and convinced that I was too stupid to ever be able to take care of myself without a man to tell me what I thought, what I wanted, and what I felt. I was depressed and suicidal, dissociative, and having flashbacks that I thought were delusions or hallucinations. I was terrified that I was losing my mind, and more terrified to tell anyone what was happening for fear that I really WAS “going crazy.”
I can pinpoint the exact moment that my journey through illness began, too. Not with a time or a date, but with an event; an event so ordinary, so innocuous, that I could never have suspected the effect it would have on my life. Continue reading My Chronic Illness Journey – The Trip I Never Expected (or WANTED) to Take »
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"The moral test of a society is how that society treats those who are in the dawn of life . . . the children; those who are in the twilight of life . . . the elderly; and those who are in the shadows of life . . . the sick, the needy, and the handicapped."
---Hubert Humphrey
Welcome to the new home of Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. I hope you'll enjoy the changes, and the new resources I'll be adding as I have time to work on the site. Things will look a bit odd while I learn where and how to modify the appearance, so please bear with me.
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